Final Post...

Well the time has come to say goodbye to the most tumultuous and difficult friend I’ve ever had.

I can’t explain how I feel because it sometimes changes from minute to minute or hour to hour.  Right now, I’m numb.  But I made myself very busy today because I know tomorrow is ‘the’ day.  When I would picture my drive to the vet and then picture the drive home without him, I had to consciously change my train of thought.  There was no point in crying now, because NOW he was here…with me.  I’ll cry plenty the day of…

What was hard today was knowing I was making his bed for the last time.  Or cleaning his bowl for the last time and hanging up his remaining 3 diapers because they wouldn’t be needed anymore.  The finality is heart-wrenching but there is nothing I can do. 

Although, I’d give anything to never lose that dog, in reality he has to go sometime.  And although this will be the hardest drive I’ve ever made, when it’s over…I’ll feel a tiny bit relief.  I’ve been crying over losing this boy since November, when I thought it was time then. But I was granted 8 more months with him.  And they haven’t been an easy 8 months either.  I’ve walked in more piles of poo and puddles of pee than I care to admit.  I’ve had to stop whatever I was doing to answer his random he-has-no-idea-why-he’s-crying cries.  Or pick him up from here so he can walk 3 feet there.  I want to throttle him but it’s not HIS fault I’ve kept him passed his expiration date.

Or had I?

Because when he gets a little pep in his step or gets right up from a sitting position or throws his ball at me…this is when I question the timing of the inevitable.   

But honestly, as everyone knows who’s loved a beloved friend, there IS no easy time.  Ever.  I could get him a wheelchair and sew his diaper on permanently and poke my ears til I’m deaf so I don’t have to listen to his no-idea-why-I’m-crying cries; but…it’s not fair to him.  As my lovely friend told me…I’m freeing him from his caged body. 

I’d like to believe he’ll soar after his last breath and run free, hike and swim like he did years ago; but, that’s what kills me.  In reality, I’ll never see him again.

And THAT is the most heart-wrenching piece of all…

a while...

yes...it's just been so long.  but Kody IS nearing his end and i feel bad for not keeping up on this.  And it's not that i haven't had any material.  as I go to the store tonight, i open the closet, pull out a coat and he's on his feet, ready to go.  how does he know?  and how the shit does he get up so fast!

He reminded me of doug from king of queens when he went to the health spa with Carrie (to gain points so he could go to vegas) and she took the relaxation package; he took the severe workout package.  He was in so much pain and was flat on his back talking to Deacon on the phone.  He told him he just couldn't go on  but when Deacon mentioned the new topless donut bar, next scene:  Doug on his feet "I'm back in".

Shaking hands with the devil

This is my vacuum hose. And who's sitting next to it is the culprit that RUINED said hose. He looks so innocent and so sweet that i cannot beat him for his bad behavior. but he ruined my vacuum. i go thru more vacuum's becuase of this sweet, innocent fucker.

Reminds me of the time I took him over to Debby & Pat's house and he'd jump in their pool and grab on to the vacuum hose. Pat was bitching that he was ruining the hose but in my drunken haze i'm like "no no....he's just lightly grabbing on to it".

Later on in the afternoon, when dogs & kids & adults are out of the pool and the vacuum is doing it's job did i see the damage. It looked like the Bellagio water show...oops.

I promised to pay for the repair as i always do but it's $7 for the hose and a priceless amount for the labor. Good thing Pat loved kody so much....hahahha...i'm being facetious here....

Where's Kody?

Someone's waiting patiently for their breakfast. can you spot him?

Kody says...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

christmas Kody

I've started a new tradition of spending my christmas day with my girlfriend Debby and my favorite girl, Megan. Plus they let me bring Kody over which is no easy decision since it takes Debby about 12 hours to clean up when we leave. As she says "Having Kody over is like have 14 teenagers over..."


Kody easily entertains me. I pushed the "push here" button to make this snow man dance and Kody, although didn't go nuts because he's suave still made me laugh.


"hey there big guy...you gonna pee on me?"

We blew up our air bed so we could all lay out and watch movies. Not gonna happen with kody there....He's movin in.

Claiming his victory:

Adults "allowed" on couch, floor & chair (me) while Kody gets the bed. LOVE that fucker.

california marathon

Every year, i try to go get my coffee and watch the runners as they pass the 22nd mile mark (where the coffee place is)

this year, i made a bigger deal out of it, invited friends, made appetizers, packed chairs and a blankie and, of course, Kody and headed out.

michelle brought homemade chorizo burritos and kody stuck his head in her bag and helped himself to one.

hahaha...love that fucker.