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i hate being morbid; but, when my dogs get to this age I start thinking about the end. Well...i only had one dog before Kody and i ADORED him. i had to put him to sleep when he was 14 and it was the hardest thing ive ever done in my life. I cried so hard, i had black eyes. no shit. i couldn't sleep for weeks and had to resort to sleeping pills. i can still cry when i talk about him 9 years later.

Kody is the COMPLETE opposite of Bear. Bear was 95% good and 5% very bad (he'd always try to escape - i HATED that!!) But Kody, by far, has had more of an impact on my life. Whereas Bear was a sweet, loving, gentle soul that only wanted to please me day in and day out (except when he'd try to escape) Kody tries to irritate me, make me scream and chase him around the house trying to get back whatever item he's decided to take hostage.

I can never come home, have dinner and lay on the couch to relax. oh Noooooo....i have to kick the ball for him until we go to bed. and God forbid, i have company....then he KNOWS i have to kick the ball or he'll give off one of his ear-piercing, heart-stopping barks that you cannot ignore; you just have to give in becuase it's easier.

I did a bad job (in a way) raising him becuase Kody knows he can pretty much do what he wants. Such as when company comes over - kody is all over them (in a VERY loving way, by the way and not jumping on them - he's too big) and I just let him. Soon they'll be covered in hair and have ball prints on their shoes, but like an old divorced mother of 7, i just don't care. go for it, Kody.

I read this statement in a dog book about malamutes "Malamutes don't live FOR you, they live WITH you"...that. is. the. truth.

But I love this dog. Because he's been such a huge impact on my life for the last 10 years, i can't even imagine the hole he's going to leave when he goes. While i was laying on the floor, petting him...i was thinking, i don't even care if he's partially paralyzed and pooping on my bed, just stay alive so your spirit is here with me. It's not his antics anymore that I adore; it's just him.

I may bitch about the things I don't have in this life, but, i don't for a moment forget what i've been given...

(Kody and his 'hostage')