Final Post...

Well the time has come to say goodbye to the most tumultuous and difficult friend I’ve ever had.

I can’t explain how I feel because it sometimes changes from minute to minute or hour to hour.  Right now, I’m numb.  But I made myself very busy today because I know tomorrow is ‘the’ day.  When I would picture my drive to the vet and then picture the drive home without him, I had to consciously change my train of thought.  There was no point in crying now, because NOW he was here…with me.  I’ll cry plenty the day of…

What was hard today was knowing I was making his bed for the last time.  Or cleaning his bowl for the last time and hanging up his remaining 3 diapers because they wouldn’t be needed anymore.  The finality is heart-wrenching but there is nothing I can do. 

Although, I’d give anything to never lose that dog, in reality he has to go sometime.  And although this will be the hardest drive I’ve ever made, when it’s over…I’ll feel a tiny bit relief.  I’ve been crying over losing this boy since November, when I thought it was time then. But I was granted 8 more months with him.  And they haven’t been an easy 8 months either.  I’ve walked in more piles of poo and puddles of pee than I care to admit.  I’ve had to stop whatever I was doing to answer his random he-has-no-idea-why-he’s-crying cries.  Or pick him up from here so he can walk 3 feet there.  I want to throttle him but it’s not HIS fault I’ve kept him passed his expiration date.

Or had I?

Because when he gets a little pep in his step or gets right up from a sitting position or throws his ball at me…this is when I question the timing of the inevitable.   

But honestly, as everyone knows who’s loved a beloved friend, there IS no easy time.  Ever.  I could get him a wheelchair and sew his diaper on permanently and poke my ears til I’m deaf so I don’t have to listen to his no-idea-why-I’m-crying cries; but…it’s not fair to him.  As my lovely friend told me…I’m freeing him from his caged body. 

I’d like to believe he’ll soar after his last breath and run free, hike and swim like he did years ago; but, that’s what kills me.  In reality, I’ll never see him again.

And THAT is the most heart-wrenching piece of all…

a while...

yes...it's just been so long.  but Kody IS nearing his end and i feel bad for not keeping up on this.  And it's not that i haven't had any material.  as I go to the store tonight, i open the closet, pull out a coat and he's on his feet, ready to go.  how does he know?  and how the shit does he get up so fast!

He reminded me of doug from king of queens when he went to the health spa with Carrie (to gain points so he could go to vegas) and she took the relaxation package; he took the severe workout package.  He was in so much pain and was flat on his back talking to Deacon on the phone.  He told him he just couldn't go on  but when Deacon mentioned the new topless donut bar, next scene:  Doug on his feet "I'm back in".

Shaking hands with the devil

This is my vacuum hose. And who's sitting next to it is the culprit that RUINED said hose. He looks so innocent and so sweet that i cannot beat him for his bad behavior. but he ruined my vacuum. i go thru more vacuum's becuase of this sweet, innocent fucker.

Reminds me of the time I took him over to Debby & Pat's house and he'd jump in their pool and grab on to the vacuum hose. Pat was bitching that he was ruining the hose but in my drunken haze i'm like "no no....he's just lightly grabbing on to it".

Later on in the afternoon, when dogs & kids & adults are out of the pool and the vacuum is doing it's job did i see the damage. It looked like the Bellagio water show...oops.

I promised to pay for the repair as i always do but it's $7 for the hose and a priceless amount for the labor. Good thing Pat loved kody so much....hahahha...i'm being facetious here....

Where's Kody?

Someone's waiting patiently for their breakfast. can you spot him?

Kody says...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

christmas Kody

I've started a new tradition of spending my christmas day with my girlfriend Debby and my favorite girl, Megan. Plus they let me bring Kody over which is no easy decision since it takes Debby about 12 hours to clean up when we leave. As she says "Having Kody over is like have 14 teenagers over..."


Kody easily entertains me. I pushed the "push here" button to make this snow man dance and Kody, although didn't go nuts because he's suave still made me laugh.


"hey there big guy...you gonna pee on me?"

We blew up our air bed so we could all lay out and watch movies. Not gonna happen with kody there....He's movin in.

Claiming his victory:

Adults "allowed" on couch, floor & chair (me) while Kody gets the bed. LOVE that fucker.

california marathon

Every year, i try to go get my coffee and watch the runners as they pass the 22nd mile mark (where the coffee place is)

this year, i made a bigger deal out of it, invited friends, made appetizers, packed chairs and a blankie and, of course, Kody and headed out.

michelle brought homemade chorizo burritos and kody stuck his head in her bag and helped himself to one.

hahaha...love that fucker.

: (

i hate being morbid; but, when my dogs get to this age I start thinking about the end. Well...i only had one dog before Kody and i ADORED him. i had to put him to sleep when he was 14 and it was the hardest thing ive ever done in my life. I cried so hard, i had black eyes. no shit. i couldn't sleep for weeks and had to resort to sleeping pills. i can still cry when i talk about him 9 years later.

Kody is the COMPLETE opposite of Bear. Bear was 95% good and 5% very bad (he'd always try to escape - i HATED that!!) But Kody, by far, has had more of an impact on my life. Whereas Bear was a sweet, loving, gentle soul that only wanted to please me day in and day out (except when he'd try to escape) Kody tries to irritate me, make me scream and chase him around the house trying to get back whatever item he's decided to take hostage.

I can never come home, have dinner and lay on the couch to relax. oh Noooooo....i have to kick the ball for him until we go to bed. and God forbid, i have company....then he KNOWS i have to kick the ball or he'll give off one of his ear-piercing, heart-stopping barks that you cannot ignore; you just have to give in becuase it's easier.

I did a bad job (in a way) raising him becuase Kody knows he can pretty much do what he wants. Such as when company comes over - kody is all over them (in a VERY loving way, by the way and not jumping on them - he's too big) and I just let him. Soon they'll be covered in hair and have ball prints on their shoes, but like an old divorced mother of 7, i just don't care. go for it, Kody.

I read this statement in a dog book about malamutes "Malamutes don't live FOR you, they live WITH you"...that. is. the. truth.

But I love this dog. Because he's been such a huge impact on my life for the last 10 years, i can't even imagine the hole he's going to leave when he goes. While i was laying on the floor, petting him...i was thinking, i don't even care if he's partially paralyzed and pooping on my bed, just stay alive so your spirit is here with me. It's not his antics anymore that I adore; it's just him.

I may bitch about the things I don't have in this life, but, i don't for a moment forget what i've been given...

(Kody and his 'hostage')

Bored Baby in Morning

He's laying on his two front paws on my newly winterized quilts...so cute.

Hair

I took kody for a long walk this morning on my FF and brushed him for about 5 minutes when we got home.



this is after 5 mintues!



But someone feels good....


my boy is going to be 10 next month. I'm going to make that day all about him. not too unlike every day; but, no part of his day will be about me. i just hope he doen'st get used to it...

Boots

I looked high and low for this video and was devastated that I couldn't find it. Last night i was randomly looking for my ben folds and there it was. i was overjoyed!!

So kody used to go hiking all the time over craggly, rocky terrain and he would rip the SHIT out of his pads. I purchased these $85 boots for him and KNEW i had to video tape the first time he wore them...i didn't edited it so it's a bit long but who doen'st want to watch endless hours of kody anyway???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjw9beF4Vq4

For Jack....

...and his Mom.

For Janet

Most of Kody's pictures are on my ...ahem...his bed. he's just like his mommy...hahahah

fucking adorable.

I'm a little fragile tonight. so when i climb in to bed, i know i'm getting no sympathy from this bastard becuase what he'll do is growl, gorgle, and move to a new position. And I'll take it personal becuase...like i said i'm a little fragile tonight.

why can't he just be kind?

Headbands

I bought a whole bunch of headbands to give me some cuter, younger, hipper looks. after trying a few on, i realized KODY looks better in them than me.

Although the uncomfortableness factor makes him look less so.

Kody HATES sharing...

he's a lot like his mummy

3 dog pet photography

Well the guy that owns this "company" took Kody's pictures off his website. Why? I'm not sure but it probably has to do with the fact that I wouldn't pay him $50 for 11 emailed pictures. I said I'd pay $20 for the FOUR I wanted and didn't want to be forced to buy 11 when 6 were practically the same; but, he wanted the $50.

Wouldn't one rather make $20 than NOTHING?? The economy is bad, my salary has been cut, my stocks are in the toilet and he HAS to have $50? GOD! People suck! I know his time is valuable and his equipment is expensive and his time to sit there all day and watch dogs jump in to water costs him money but surely it costs him more than NOTHING WHICH IS WHAT HE GOT FROM ME!!

i'm repeating myself. i'm pissed.

UPDATE: Kevin told me to kindly ask him what happened (you know...the ADULT WAY?)

here's what i emailed him:

Hey Bruce...I don't see Kody's pictures on the album anymore. did you move them?


and this was his response:

I thought you weren't interested, so I took them down to make the albums smaller, therefore faster. Would you like them back up?

makes sense. still pissed off.

hahhaaaa

I keep Kody's food in a metal trash bin so the rats don't get tempted. But Kody knows where his food is....and he's willing to risk his esphogial tract to get to it....

SPLASH DOGS!

Splash Dogs came in to town today and I rushed Kody to the vet to get his rabies shot so I could enroll him in this event.

If there was ANY doubt that he was not the HIT of the day, put it to rest.

This is the pool they set up. Then they attach a long ramp for the dog to run and JUMP in to the pool.


(I had the damn settings on the camera set too light and it was very hard to get pictures while i'm trying to kody in the pool.

so his first try, i throw the ball and he runs to the edge of the ramp, looks at the ball and runs back to me, down the stairs and climbed in the pool BY GOING OVER THE SIDE!!! It was a very hard climb for him and he was very awkward and it kinda looked painful but he did it and everyone was roaring with laughter. it was hysterical.






Thats him coming out on his first try. while we were waiting for his next turn, he watched all the other dogs run and jump in and he actaully started whining and yipping so i thought he might be getting the idea and sure enough, the 2nd try he ran and JUMPED in the pool...everyone was clapping and laughing...


god i love that fucker.

wanna see something sad?

This is him the day after swimming. He just way overdoes it and i'm such a guilty mom i don't stop him even though i know he's going to be in pain the next day. Good thing i didn't have kids.

by the way, he ripped some pads and that's why he was walking so gingerly. i have some tuff foot...he's going to be on that ALL summer.